Exercise 5: Asking for and Giving Forgiveness
Listen to This Exercise
You can listen to this exercise here ➤. If you’d like a PDF version with lined pages to write your answers, you can download it at the bottom of this page.
Introduction
As Yom Kippur approaches, it’s time to reflect on your relationships with others. Asking for forgiveness from those you may have hurt and extending forgiveness to others is a powerful way to clear the slate and prepare for the day of atonement.
Teshuva (repentance) involves three steps:
- Regret for past actions.
- Confession to Hashem about those actions.
- Commitment to improve in the future.
When we’ve hurt others, however, teshuva also requires us to seek their forgiveness and make amends. This exercise guides you in taking these essential steps.
Instructions
-
Make a List
Reflect on anyone you may have hurt or wronged, whether through words, actions, or inactions. Write their names and note if you owe them an apology or need to make restitution. -
Reach Out
Contact each person on your list and have a conversation with them. Apologize sincerely, ask for their forgiveness, and, if applicable, repay any debts or damages. -
Forgive Others
Extend forgiveness to anyone who has wronged you. Let go of grudges, remembering that forgiving others allows Hashem to forgive you. -
Recite a Declaration of Forgiveness
Use this general statement, inspired by the Tefilla Zakkah, to forgive anyone who has hurt you:“I forgive anyone who has wronged me, whether physically, emotionally, or financially, and I release any grievances I hold. Just as I forgive others, may Hashem grant me favor and forgive me as well.”
Want a PDF to Help You Work Through This Exercise?
You can download the PDF version here ➤ with lined pages to write your list and reflections.
When you’re ready, move on to Exercise 6: Clarifying Future Growth Areas ➤ to take the final step on this journey.